I don't Do Colors

Anyone who knows me knows black is my color of predilection. Really.
Oh, I love black.
See, I love how black alters the dangerous curves of my body.
I love how black fits with everything.
Maybe I love black it is because everyday is a funeral.
Funerals to anything good that could happen to me.


See, too many times, I have said I will wear a certain type of clothes when I will have lost all the weight.
I recognize that the main statement about my clothing is "Whatever".
Yes. Whatever. I just throw on whatever fits me.
But a Whatever clothing statement leads to a Whatever attitude.
Not from me. But from many people engaging in a relationship/friendship with me.

Lately, I just let go of everything weight-related.
I don't botter anymore.
I just.. let it go.
And, as a result, I started to lose weight.
Not a lot, sure. But Still losing.

The crazy thing is... I took the decision to get rid of black.
I realized that, it is not because I am fat, that I can't dress nice.
Or sexy.
Or flambloyant.
Or with colors.
So, I promised myself this: next time I need to buy a piece of clothing, it needs to have colors.
VIBRANT COLORS.

Today, I told my friend that I want to buy leggings for my birthday party.
Her answer: FINALLY!
Yes, I do wear baggy clothes.
I have great difficulties to show my legs.
My big thighs.
My calfs
I feel naked whenever I wear tight pants.

But I took the decisions to try on leggings for my birthday.
I hope I won't feel like crying, or hiding, or whatever. I'm actually scared.